Friday, April 21, 2006

John's Primary Storyline part 1

(((Legal note that I'm not sure is completly legal....I made this up, this is mine, and if you steal it, you shall be punished...I'm not joking about this...Really.)))

Many have asked what I really want to do with John Sinclair...Well put him in a comic named Sinclair of course! What follows is a broken storyline, broken scenery, and broken discriptions of characters. For pictures of named characters go here ---> Sometimes it's easier to understand if one does that. But I do warn you that there is a few pictures of people in another manga there and please don't think that I will write all the comics...I think there is too much for me. Anyways, if there is wide breaks there are parts that I can't figure out what to do yet. Help is welcomed and I thank any in advance for anything. Bah.

Story starts out as John being a struggling student by day, welder by night. The owner of the house he is renting a room from is an old (man or woman not sure yet...There is storylines with either or but haven't decided which yet, but either way SINGLE) who has a superior mentality, that he would rent to scum like a half-breed.

I'll break there and explain a little of the scene...The year is unknown, humans have been to space and health breakthroughs have made some of the common killers of today non-existant. However there is worse diseases out there but that is not needed through most of the story. However like today there is deaths that no one can do anything about. This is necessary to know for later. Humanity decided that there was no need to endanger human lives in jobs like policing, firefighting, explorations, and in extreme cases, war. So they developed the half-breed that has genetically programed to be loyal, obident and willing to take on these "dangerous" or "ugly" jobs that many people rather not have. However there is still some humans running around doing these jobs. Hint hint the scientist who delevoped these peoples was named Sinclair Rillings (don't ask) This is significant but that's my little secret so far. Oh and yes half-breeds are MALE ONLY...Females die within the first five years due to internal organ shut-down. Also the markings that are on their face and bodies are traced through bloodlines. So the son of one will have almost the same markings as his father, they may dialute due to interbreeding with humans.
Sometime along the human timeline there was an intergalatic war and the half-breeds were called upon to battle, but fell short. Fast forward into modern times, humanity is left alone by the "aliens" but a payment is made that make the whole race slow in production, research, as well as the faded, yet still there memories of the loss that they took. Another condition is that half-breeds were not to take on the burdens they were designed to do. In the end, some made into the work-force and have families. Most went to the "Dog-fights" where the half-breeds are pitted up against one another in sometimes fatal, well..umm, fights. Two seriums were made for this purpose. One is like adrenillen that boosts the feirce side of the half-breed, the other is to make them perfectly passive. These both have unexpected side-effects for John, but John isn't a normal half-breed. Anyways, some went to gain lots of money. Others found outside "safe zones" were captured and brought into the fights by breeders and masters. Due to the desire to travel some of the half-breeds get snatched, even if they have a family. Also with the border-line hatred of the half-breeds make for a lot of orphaned younger ones. In the long and short there is no other use for half-breeds but for entertainment.

Back to the story...John makes his way to school where there is a trip planned to one of the "Unsafe" areas for half-breeds. (senario #1) John refuses but the teacher emplores him to go, for nothing less she offers to pay for his tuition and for his expenses throughout the trip to protect her. (senario #2) He goes on his own choice.
Once there in the city John gets pick=pocketed by Lee (a young half-breed with marked ears). Chasing Lee throughout the streets he finds himself in trouble; cornered in a dead end street. There is a scoffle and John is caught by a group including Ori-Anna. However in his capture John tries to escape and accidently kills another half-breed by falling on him and breaking his neck.
John is taken to a training institution and is told that he must replace the one that his has killed in the fights. Horrified John tries countlessly throughout the time he spends there to escape, during the time he is tended and slowly befriended by OriAnna, who looks like she is a female half-breed! *See note above...
John while his stay and fights he is troubled by dreams of Jashi Zarconifi, a blonde elf with extremly long ears, who keeps saying that majic is returning to the earth and soon he will come and take the life of John. Another dream he keeps with is fuzzy memories of his past that seems only like a dream...
Meanwhile in the waking world, John is left in a single cell, bored. Others keep asking about his linage and John has no idea. Actually John has amnesia. He only can recall waking for his first day of school, even though he knew other details, like where he worked and where he had to go to school.
"The man looked through the one way glass where John was imprisoned. “I must know where he comes from. With the heritage line I will know how to figure out how to handle him. Since he took out my best fighter he should in turn take his place. Andrew.”
A small half-breed looked up and nodded, “Yes master?”
The man sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes with a forefinger, “What have you found?”
“Absolutely nothing by regular means. There is no birth under his name. We will have to go in deeper into visual records but that will take a lot longer.” The boy cringed fearing the wrath that this may impose.
“very well take Kei with you and figure this out.”
“Yes sir!” The boy rushed out of the room.
The man looked back at his prisoner who glared back at him. “I will break and own you.” A dark shadow crosses the man’s face as a smile crosses it.

Kei looks up from the computer screen as Andrew steps into the room. “How did it go?”
Andrew shrugs as he takes his chair. “He really wants this one. Little wonder though. Have you seen __________? He was torn up pretty good and the guy doesn’t have one scratch on him.” Kei nods and continues to type on the keyboard. “I really don’t want to face that guy.”
Kei looks to Andrew with serious eyes, “me neither that guy walks around with the scent of fear, not his own but others. I think we really should keep our heads down and prey that he stays in his cage and not out here with guys like us.”
Working hard they don’t hear the door open. “What’cha working on?” The two jump out of their seats, only to find a young woman smiling and looking over their shoulders.
“Ori! What are you doing here?” Andrew looks at her with ears pressed flat back on his head.
“Good afternoon Mistress Orianna.” Kei turns back to his screen.
Ignoring Andrew Orianna looks upon the screens. “Jonathan Sinclair. Is that the guy they are holding upstairs Kei?”
“Yeah and the Master wants to know where his lines go.” Kei speaks softly. Andrew putting up a tantrum in the background.
“Why does it matter so much?” Ori turns to Kei ears perked in interest.
“It is the simple matter that traits seem to be passed down very strongly from one generation to the next. If the father, or even the grandfather’s actions were recorded to be vicious there is a high chance that the offspring is the same, even raised in different conditions. Also it gives clues on how to train and fight them. For instance with your father he was gentle and kind so there is very little fear of you going off the handle unless your hormones throw the theory out the window.”
“Why should that matter?”
Kei grinned showing off his canines “Silly girl you are the only half-breed female to live past the age of nine. Master has a soft side for you that he sometimes doesn’t have for the rest of us. Right, Andy?” Nodding Andy pours into the screen.
“Well has anyone asked him about his parents?” Inquired Ori. Kei shakes his head. “Perhaps I should go ask him myself!”
“Ori don’t do it! He’s mental I don’t know what he may do! He sent _______ to traction!” Fear creaps into Ori’s face before she trumps out of the room. Turning to Andy Kei clears his throat, “think she’ll do it?”
Shrugging Andy points to the screen, “Hey Kei, look at this!”
Kei leans over to look at the computer screen and gasps. “Is that thing right?”
Andy shrugs. “It is an old article there is a lot of junk that is floating around here in cyber-space but it seems real.”
********Show article of John in Officer Outfit.
“If you type the name on that there is a large opening…Everything having to do with this ship the Consolation. First and last ship to come out of the Ebon nebula, and such things. Past that some hero stories but then nothing. Think that this kid was a relative.”
“The picture is so close that it could be him. There is no way it cannot be his relative. Print it off and show it to boss, I’ll keep looking.”
Nodding Kei takes the miniature printout and leaves, running an errand for his owner and Master.

“You’re behind there aren’t you?” John sat glaring at the black window that was a wall of his cell. His ear swivels as the door opens. A man in a dark suit appears at the doorway.
To his surprise the man rushed up and hit him crossways the face. Spinning he hit the floor hard with the room spinning. Hefting him up the man looked him straight in the eye and snarled “Common!” Before throwing him down onto the floor hard.
“What the fuck are you doing to me?” screamed John. The man just smiled as he kicked him in the ribs. Curling into a small ball John starts to cough and wonder what else could go wrong this week.
“I am going to get what you took out of you boy and perhaps a lot more. Perhaps you can do what you did to my own in the ring with others.”
Fear penetrated John’s face as he realized what the man was talking about. The grand ring where men and women of the human race place bets against those who are half breeds who fight sometimes to the death. “Never. I wouldn’t do such a thing!” John scrambled to the other side of the cage away from this man.
The man just looked at him with a small smile upon his face. “Oh but you will.” Turning he leaves the room."

I wrote the previous exrept a while ago but I think it might be better if the boss never knows who John is. I keep on thinking of having a sexy silluette of Orianna in the doorway and she tossing a file on the floor before John, and telling him that they found out who he was, but they aren't going to tell the master/boss cause he is an ill old man and that since he has no heirs all the monies and property will go to him since he the highest earner of the batch.
In time the old man dies, not of old age I don't think. Not sure yet.
John gets to run the whole show and pulls out of the fights, returning home, he finds out that the old man/woman was sapposed to be renting from HIM. hehehe I love nasty turn of events. But he took on another renter and who would it be but Lee. hahaha it practically writes itself.
Lee befriends John by telling him how he did that trick to a couple others. He did it so that he could pay off the boss for his life (kinda like some slaves of old did), and that John was the last one so that he could go and live, free. So in the end of this all Lee and the old person lives together and he travels back to the masters place...
But on the way he stops in a village where he gets armed robbed. Stabbed in the middle of the dark street he slumps on his knees, forehead on the ground. From his back up streatches Jashi, beautiful and almost womanly, dressed in his traditionial robes, that seamingly float upwards as he rises *sigh* As soon as he opens his eyes the light, the wind etc is gone....hehehe kewl.
Opens another chapter of John's life as he starts a relationship with Ori, Jashi helping to find his past and all consiquences associated with that. I think I will also bring up the one, the only Alarice from my novels...I think only people that have read it was Lea and Danielle and the thing is huge and missing page 3. Piss me off... But she is the classic evil guy that has no cause. That makes her the most human of all. The bad guy always want to take over the world...She doesn't, I think I'll just make her want to be a hermit and want to screw John around...Yes that would be fun. Past this, everything gets a little fuzzy on what I really should do... I have some plots for later but that should be expanded in

Okay now for news. On Sunday it snowed. This Saturday it's sapposed to snow then go up to the teens. Our weather is fucked.
The Catalliac is on the road...Just a safty and on the way down the road.
A girl at work, one of her relatives got hit by a transport that ran a red light.
I think the chair is going to break soon.
I gained another 10 pounds...grrr....
There is another chair mat in the cubicle so now I can glide from one end to another...Perhaps not the greatest thing in the world.
I'm thinking that I need to get outta this job before I go nuts, even though I love working here...Either that or get out of my relationship...Not a good idea. Oh well.
I give up! Now counting I'm almost $6,000 in debt! I hate to say this but I wish I never went to school. Like really it didn't get me anywhere in life.
I've tripped over my own feet twice today...I think I'm getting way too tired. I need summer to not to come. It's already too hot to sleep at night and it's not helping my everything in the world should die attitude. Like socks, I think mine are twisting right now. I'm trying to remember if they did that when I wore highheels before or did they behave and now I notice it more.
My hair is behaving itself! Except there is occassions that I'm just sitting doing something and a strand goes striaght...up my nose....I hate hair, only good it is is to hide the bumps on my head from when I was young and forgot I had a forehead.
WOOT Fantastic Children Ending song! It's sung in Russian but it almost sounds gaelic. I love it. Oh crap now that I added it to my favorites then it kicks my knights of ramune title song off...Shit.
I got to reload Kazaa...I give up I think my new computer is slowly going to internally eat itself and I'm going to let it! Bring it on SpyFalcon! Bring it on Spammers! Hackers! And other Bastards that want me to get another computer...I think I've ranted on this thing before.
Reading in yellow type sucks so Talley Ho!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Is the world obsessed with death or is it me?

Hello and good day...Another rant made by yours truly.

Okay here is something that has been bothering a lot of late. Perhaps that it is that someone close to me is in mourning, but perhaps of the stuff on the tele. I would like to take a moment and rewind back about a month and bring up from the dredges "the fallen four". I don't know about the rest of the world but I feel sorry for the families of the four. They have the time to heal, time to get their lives back on track and then suddenly it is torn open like a old scab, letting old wounds bleed. The mounties died a horrible death but common there is no memorial getting built for the others that had died around that time. What is there for the families of the construction workers that got hit when a transport hit the bus that was stuck in the middle of the road? There will be no parks, no tribute ceremonys, no nothing! They were in the wrong spot at the wrong time. Not being rude but frankly that is what has happened to those young mounties that were gunned down. (I bet that this will bring in a lot of rude comments on this one.) Ahh good ol' Canadian policy... Hide the truth to make the law-makers look good. I wouldn't expand on this comment...There is no need, just look into the newspapers.

As for mourning how long is too long? For me like a week is good, even to those close to me. I could even see where a year later one could be a little teary, especially if there is a special occasions were to arise. Is eight years too long? I'm sorry to say but Bennett lost his previous girl around this time eight years ago and is still getting depressed. Is it wrong of me to go and want to kick him in the shin and go get over it life has to go on, or go and be supportive and choke on my bile and go "there there it will be alright..." I don't know. I heard on K-Rock on their morning show that red-heads can take more pain than any other hair color. Physical me, no. Emotional, Yes.

Funny of the day: I have a friend who wants to join the army. I told him to think about it, yes you are going to help in some dispute, but man, people are dying over there. He goes, "I know I know..." So I repond to why... He returns, "To counter friendly fire on the Canadians."

Some days I wonder if its better not to look out there to the wide world and go, hey! People in our own country need help. Why are we sending people to other countries when the money and man power can be used at home. If you don't believe me think of how many homeless there is out there, dying on the streets due to hunger or improper shelter. No it's easier to send money and help to those that are not in our communities, than to reach over and help those in our communities. Some people just can't make it on their own, some have problems, yes. And no one can accuse me of speaking out of my ass. I have gone and took a couple of homeless through a grocery store and bought them some bread, fresh water and a chocolate bar, because that's what they wanted. I didn't mind spending the freaking $5.00 to help someone on this road of life. I don't know what happened to those guys but I hope that they found their feet. Sometimes that's all someone needs...A helping hand.

I'm going to end this drivel due to the light of the screen is giving me a migrane. Some food for thought.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Computer literacy friend or foe?

FOE! At least in my home. It's sad, actually cause I'm the only one that seems to know how to use the thing and people call me in the middle of a date to ask questions on how a computer works. Let me tell you all this story one or two of you might find this funny.

I went out the other night and wasn't expecting a call from home. When I left they told me that Eric had to do some work on the internet. I said fine, just X out of all the pop-ups that pleage my poor machine. So in the long and short I ignored the call, figuring if it is important they would bug me more than once. Got home later that night and people ask me if I got my cell phone message. No. So what is the problem? Well here it is: Eric started up my computer and got one of my standard error messages, which comes from stuffing a dated piece of hardware onto a new computer...Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and like in this case it works but on startup it gives wierd error messages. Anyways that was cause for a swear and reboot the computer. Fine the error didn't come up but other spam pops up on the screen. Fine. Another curse. Clicks on my internet explorer to get online, gets the error message, where to check the address and such. First thing I ask: "Did you dial up onto the internet?"

His responce "Dial Up?"

I need to buy one of those soft mallets to swat stupid people in my home. A question like that Kim should've been able to solve, but for some reason had a brain fart or something. It's not like it's a new thing in the house. I've had dial-up since 1999. Why the hell can't anyone figure out how to jump online?

Another stupidity that is blantent, in my face, duh even, is the repairs on my car. Two or three weeks ago I went into Canadian Tire and got my brakes repaired. A simple thing really. Make my car no longer nose dive in the middle of the street...I'm getting whiplash! Anyways got it repaired and drove home, went my this thing is driving rough...What did those twits do this time. Get home and felt up ^.^ The drivers rear hub was hot and the car stank...So sent it back in to get it checked. They said that the rear axel is bent...Well if I was in something hard enough to twist the rear axel I think I might have remembered it, and there would be a mark. So....Bullshit! Finally last Sunday mom went to go out to a baby shower and there was my tire, flatter than flat. Dad took the tire off and checked the drum. It was split in half! Like what the hell? Took it back in and the monkey just fixed them, and my brakes are no longer rubbing and I have full fuel economy back again! Yah! It's way better to get another day out of the tank when gas is floating about $1/litre.

And I need help. Anyone can figureout how to get my character into a city where he doesn't want to go in a nice scene then I owuld love it. Right now I got a real cheezy one going with the principal offering a tidy sum and tution paid to go babysit a kid and a teacher in the certain city. I guess I'm being sketchy but hey it's the start of the flipping comic and I'm having problems. I got almost to the end of the series sketched out in my mind but I don't know how to place John in a corner of an alley and get ambushed and taken in. Past that I think I can fumble through. Hell I can even put it parts that I've written long ago, when I first created the whole group. But as I look back, the story line to start everything off is pretty cheezy, but some of the mid-line stories that were created are pretty good, and I would love to connect the stories.
As I read some of the stories I do get creeped out though...John is too much like Bennett. Even though I created my little Johnny a year and half before I met Ben, it's just strange.

I write too long of blogs.

Monday, April 10, 2006

What the heck?

Okay I have had enough of spam, hackers and people who make virus. I hate to say it but what the heck!?!! I see advertising more and more it is now almost impossible to get into a small bubble and hide away from the advertising world. It's getting oppressive.
Hackers why the heck would they really have to gain to bust into my home computer? There is no signs that I shop online, so no credit card numbers to pull. Woot! You can grab the InuYasha pictures that I've uploaded from the internet. Dumb hosers.
People who make viruses...What good is it to you?!!!??? I think most of them is employed by the norton virus company to release viruses onto the internet that people stumble upon and have that fear hammer upon us all to purchase those stupid programs that pop-up more often than pop-up spams do. Anyways what is the point of a virus? It shuts down the computer, makes people frustrated and in the end the only people who win are technitions and people who sell us the bloody things in the first place. That is my reasonings that the people that design the viruses are people who have grudges against all of society, people who originally design the anti-viruses and people who designs/fixes the computers, so they get more customers.
I HATE SPAM E-MAILS!!!! #1 I'm a GIRL therefore I don't need penis enhancers. #2 I don't live in the states, even on any of my profiles, so why send me ads for free stuff that I have no way of winning. #3 I really have no cares about some poor ass person with some disease that they will get $0.10 with each name on the list, but one doesn't know the original e-mail address so even if there was a million dollars worth of names on the list who gets the money? It's a pyramid scheme in the making. Which (even though it's illegal) if no one broke the chain pyramid schemes would always work. But people break the chain. Bah.

Otafest! May long weekend. Can't wait! We are still looking for people to split the hotel room and be part of the InuYasha cosplay group. This time hopefully we can get a REAL skit working and have people that wouldn't skip out on us like at Animethon. Hopefully we can get another couple and then we will have most of the original people so then it isn't just me and Ben running around like fools. But I don't think that the costumes I had made up will be too bad for any of us. Right now if we can't find another couple I think we might go down as InuYasha and Seshomaru...That is if I can fit into the Sesshie costume. (Considering it was made for a guy like a foot taller than myself.) Also it will be hot. There is a lot of weight in one of those costumes. Especially the Miroku costume. It was bad enough when I had to get it sized and had to walk around and stand in the dress-makers place but I would love to wear it. I don't think that people would like a girl playing a lecturous monk, grabbing other girls asses. And the idea of people slapping me was a unfavorable one. But it would be fun to do once ^_^

Yeah radio playing O sanpo kyousoukyoku (parfait mix) Very fun song, even though I can't understand anything they say.

I have made a mess here at my desk so I should stop this banter and clear it all up...

Saturday, April 08, 2006

What would YOU do without electricity?

I asked this of one of the girls at work what would they do. She promtly said "Talk on the oh...Wait that needs power too." It took her 5 minutes to admit that she had no idea after listing a whole bunch of stuff that requires electricity.
I said I would get proficient with cooking with a stick.
So I ask those of cyberspace what would you do? You have no stoves, no computers, no hum of electricity whatsoever.

Anyways back to the regularly scheduled program of the person who is so freaking bored that random thoughts appear.

I think I or someone more advanced should have a subject of the day and have people comment and post about it and have stupid topics (like above)...

I have to fart. Oh wait...Maybe not.

To go back to my last post I am doing something I hate...Breaking in new shoes. I hate when shoemakers can't get the arches right or there is a side digging painfully and (sometimes) bloodily into the ankle. Probably like my mom, the shoemaker was is asleep at the machines. Yes, she worked with hot glue in her sleep, the boss watched her for a while...Probably explains why I can do some things like that...In my sleep that is...Not make shoes...That sounds like a crappy job...Probably full of people who have a shoe fetish.

I'm still pissed at Ben's mom. Perhaps it's my mentality at the moment or perhaps it's the fact that that comment had pissed both Ben and I off at that moment and I hold grudges bad. *Twitch*....*TWITCH TWITCH*

McDonalds was nuts at lunch. Yes I know that I am broadcasting to the world that I have cheated on my diet, but there was no lunches in the freezer...Anyways... If one can visualize the kitchen, you know the heat lamps, where they serve up the burgers before giving it to fat-assed people like myself. That was full so much they were piling up burgers ontop of burgers...Mmmm burger orgy. Anyways I hate going there for lunch, but wendys have freaky square burgers and A&W is in a crappy lot, probably with that big boat of mine be hit some time or rather, by some crap-assed little fibreglass thing. His bill will be more than I have spent on my car, repairs included, and I will have yet another dent and more rust sheered off of it. I hate little crappy fibreglass cars (reasons I will discuss in yet another rambling long blog post). Lunch was going to order when this huge gianthor of a woman comes butting in. I would've touched her but I was afraid to do so. Not because I'm not one to speak my mind, but of the fat. I could've been sucked in and never see the light of day again. But I bet living in the cracks of the XXXL moo moo I would've eatten well with the crumbs that are forgotten within the bulbus folds. *Shutters*
Working at McDonalds would suck because of dealing with all the hungry fat people. And trying not to get bitten when handing the food out to these heaving bulks of flesh.

Yep I think I now grossed out a couple of you.

Friday, April 07, 2006

My mentallity is shitty today

*My mother-in-law to maybe be. Reason: Showed her my promise ring and she reacted in horror absolute horror. She asked if that was what she thought it to be (an engagement ring) and when we said no she said "Good!" What really is her business anyways and what if it was. I never was so close to breaking up with someone due to their family in my life.
*Men. Reason: Leaving the toilet seat up. The guy that was working at the store here was properly trained and in turn, trained us women. In the end both the lid and seat were to be down. I think it is fair cause none of us sexes have to take full blame when the seat is up. Also when the lid is down so is the seat. Also they ask more of us women than they wish to do themselves.
*President Bush. Reason: Goofy looking
*Manning. Reason: Goofy looking and an annoying voice.
*Bin Laden. Reason: Attack a superpower and think that it will help your people. Moron.
*B.O. Reason: It's gross. Okay maybe in the summer when it is like 37degrees outside there is a reason but common in the middle of winter and it smells like you haven't bathed in a week and you are doing groceries in the middle of the day. It's called soap.
*Really really fat people. Reason: What help are you to society? I'm not talking the 300 pound range or under I'm talking people are over 400lbs that aren't muscley. The ones that get stuck in the scanners at Canadian Tire, or ones that have to have sticks to hold in the fat to close the doors of their screaming little cars. (seen both, the guy who had the stick had a little box to step into the car so that he didn't have to lift his ass into the seat, just slide in)
*Women's time of the month. Reason: Okay ladies we all have to do it at one time or another but it is disgusting! Especially when you smell it on a woman who is having a heavy day (see reason of B.O. above) And people are mean if they have bad PMS!
*New Shoes/Clothes. Reason: You have to try on one million things to find one that fits properly or looks good. Then as soon as you get them to a comfy stage then they fall apart and you have to go through the whole process again to find something once more. It's a bad system!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Vampires, Zombies and...Pong?

Once again like usual there is an abundance of horror movies out there that is buying for boyfriends to take their pathetically screaming little girlfriends out to in vain hopes of "getting some" in the theatre.

This has come into the minds of my sister and I to do something about this. We have come up with some things to tell if a vampire disiple has come into your mists or how to escape a zombie. But let's put some history into this with what I can remember and spit out of my mind. I give warnings I don't think all of this information is correct and therefore it is heresay, but it makes for a good blog.

Vampires are part of the myths of the "white" man. Blood suckers of the night. Bad things are at night. Warewolves are at night but that is a different animal, but it may have originated from the same source. There is some disease/DNA mutation out there that makes people lose their front teeth and (some) grow excess hair, in addition to this they become extremely allergic to the sun. People of the past being simple minded folk, (yes even my ancestors were idiots. If I can admit it so can you!) out cast these people and in time and with rumour they became the dreaded of beasts and such. However with the amount of these tales it is hard to ignore that there is a chance that the tales are true. These where the tried and true ways (according to myth) that one can find a vampire.
*Garlic: Has sapposably holy spiritual cleansing powers that the spawnsof hell cannot overtake and therefore fall over dead. Often the head was stuffed after beheading, so that the vampire cannot reserect themselves. Also there was talk after beheading on pulling out the fangs...Nice necklace eh?
*Crosses: Ahhh the holy cross. Doesn't the pictures of Dracula have a cross on his suit? Another way religion gets thrown into vampire hunting...Skip.
*Wooden Stakes: Sybols the holy cross in which the savoir died for the sins of others. Sapposably there is new scriptures found that Judas wasn't the bad guy who turned Jesus in for 31 gold coins. But in those times who would question turning anyone in for 31 gold coins. That would pay for a lot of bread, or a good camel. Anyways the stake is plunged into the vampires heart and if they don't poof into ashes or dust they are beheaded, mouth stuffed with garlic, body split and bathed in holy water and either buried apart or burned. That sounds like a lot of work.
*Holy water: Another purification thing, but really isn't it water?
*Running water: A vampire cannot cross bridges. It's a devil thing...He can't cross bridges either.
*Sunlight: A vampire is a creature of the dead. The dead cannot walk under the light. Or so they say, they also say that once a vampire is old/powerful enough that they can walk under the sun...Damnit, that is why the tests stated later.
*Shrunken heads: Probably wouldn't work but meh shrunken heads. I'm not sure what they are used for...Perhaps lunches for child zombies who can't eat the full brain? (See the blue section)

The tests for vampires:
1. Grab your test group and throw them outside in the sunlight. Boom there is the weak/young vampires gone, as well as a few mega goths.
2. Walk the test group over a bridge any who don't cross are vampires, or are afraid of bridges. Behead and stuff them with garlic and burn them anyways. There is no need for mistakes in the world filled with vampires who want to make me one of them...No matter how many times I ask, or beg. Maybe it's because of blogs like this one.
3. Finally invite them into the guest section of "The Urban Peasent" Who cooked with a lot of garlic and black pepper. If anyone passes out bring out the wood. XD
4. Celebrate with whoever is left and go out to a italian resturant if everyone passes on the garlic bread...Die.

Which brings me onto Zombies. The living dead. A thirsty morsal hungering for the brains of others. Once bitten by a zombie you turn into a zombie. If night of the living dead has taught us anything it is good to get good at sniper games. It seems like the only things are effective is fire and guns. Blow off their heads and they are useless. But they seem to get easily amused so I figure that the easiest way to get away to get your guns or lighter is not to run away screaming. Most of the zombies probably run faster than our McDonalds and TV loving asses will. Even though they are rotting and have a bad limp. Don't you ever notice that zombies no matter how long they were zombies ALWAYS have a limp? So place them infront of something that is braindead anyways. PONG... If they beat you there isn't probably much there to eat anyways.

Ahhh Pong, the start of all evils. The beginner of the videogame era. Without pong to start it all off we never would've experienced battlestar galatica, intellevision, kilekovision, nintendo, with final fantasy and mario brothers, playstation, dreamcast, and the evil and overpowering X-Box (damn them for keeping fable to themselves). Without the multichannel, game playing influence we as a population wouldn't be becoming humongous overweight freaks of nature. I LOVE PONG.
I've been trying to get my old pong machine to work, to save me from zombies, but also to show my sister who has to concept of a 2bit game, and how pong could possibly be hard competition between two players. I bought her a atari collection for PS2 and she plas some of the most dumbest games for even dumber reasons. There is a chicken crossing the road one and she plays it to squish chickens *blink*