Thursday, April 02, 2009

The name of my blog is how I feel today...

Confused and Confuddled is all that explains all my actions that I am now placing myself on the path that is laid out before me. Now that I have said that extreme amount of nothingness I shall elaborate on it. *blarg* Okay it goes like this: I have gone to the point that I could be now editing and compressing the story of Sinclair of Twin earth (See Here if this makes no sense to you) So I'm now at the crossroads in the whole episode that I could start production of the manga/graphic novel immediately but I have to state that the world of Twin Earth isn't built yet. This comes to the meaning that over the last few years I have spent time working on the mini-story that is placed in the scenery of another world that I have built in a novel form that I haven't worked on or thought of for years. So my concern is now should I leave everything on hold and work slowly on production of the graphic novel and work on publishing the novels and finishing all the tales that are just now sitting in a two inch binder and wait to publish it at the same time. I fret and worry about these kinds of things all the time, and in the end I always get screwed around by bad publishers or agents.

The desire to be known to the general public is strong but I don't want to be in the spotlight, par se. I have seen many artist desire this as well. I think it comes down to that there is something that drives our creations to be wanting to be in the spotlight but the artist (writer) themselves want to disappear under the shadow of the creation. However, there always come some amount of even the minutest artist that pokes out, even if they hide under another creation, a name that they write/draw under. This is some part of them that they as a person could point over and go "Hey it's not me, it's him/her", but it's still not a real person. I've toyed with writing and drawing under a different name, mainly because I can't come up with a writers signature for my own name. Lame excuse isn't it? In all seriousness I have to admit that my name came from a character in a book, and that in itself has to imply that I am simply a character in my own rights.
Okay I'm going to stop that rant because I will only write myself back in a full circle and that will not come to any conclusion.

I wonder how people would react if I put my hair up with pens and pencils at work...

Does anybody know how those preloaded VISA or MASTERCARDs work? Will they work online for stuff, say on e-bay or elsewhere? I have read that they are accepted anywhere they accept VISA/MASTERCARD but I'm not sure if that includes the internet...I'm really paranoid about using my real card on the online shops so I'm interested if I get a card with a set amount on it and use it if it would work...That way if someone gets my number on the preloaded card, I'm only screwed out of the balance and no more.

And in the end does anybody really, really care?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, good luck on your story!!! This is amazing! :)
And I can totally understand what you mean about wanting to keep things private (including yourself), but also getting your stuff out there. The way you wrote about this was really neat, though...

As for the VISA/MASTERCARDS - as far as I know they work everywhere; there are lots of people who buy them at work, and yeah, they are preloaded..All I have to do is scan it through the register and it's activated. We tell everyone that the cards can be used anywhere.

Not for sure if that helps you, though. Hmm, I hope you can figure something out...^_^

Kami Akai said...

It kinda helps. There is still a few things that I have to figure out but it gives me confidence in getting one of those cards.

And thanks for the booster!

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