Dancing all alone

It has been a long time since I blogged. I was a perverbial blog-a-holic. Perhaps I will go back to my blogging again when I have the time.

But today has been a bad day.

I am forced into going to a wedding tomarrow. That blows. For one it is someone that I do not know. Two this will make people wonder when Ben and I are going to get married, and we are going through a rough time, which it is questionable if we are EVER going to get married. Three everything that I was looking for has mysteriously disappeared. For instance; my promise ring, specially bought bra straps, tuxedo coat, earrings...I have my make-up, necklace, and dress. Unfortunatly the coat that was made for the dress is too small (I don't think it ever really fit me it is almost too small for kim)

Also last night I couldn't sleep so I did down my nails and now they are cracking and tearing. Good thing I didn't paint them or I would be trying to touch them up tonight. But I might have to paint my nails anyways cause they are now spotty and such...Yuck. I like the top part white and the lower pink. I just hate painting or doing anything with them due to the fact that it just weakens the nail and that I have to do something to them, rather than letting them grow cause if I haven't mentioned it anywhere else I AM LAZY!!!!

The other fact that I couldn't sleep is that I'm nervous about going to this wedding. Ben goes, "We just love our family get togethers" meanwhile his girlfriend is going I want to go home and I haven't even got there yet. I have gone to the yearly family get togethers at Christmas time and with so many people there I wanted to crawl underr the table and hide in a dark corner away from everyone. I know that it is kind've childish to go and do such a thing but that is my way. I don't handle people well. I guess that might be one of the reasons that I don't want to marry Ben. There is too much family at once and not enough of it in between. It isn't like there is a big family dinner every weekend nor a immediate family dinner every night. What is the point of having this types of things when the family is close and it seems like it is too much work for one to visit Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents when they are only less than an hour away?

Perhaps that's just me.