*Chews On Desk With Furiousity*

There is a few things that I would like to mention at this moment in time. I hate the way visual minorities are shoved in our face and made out that they have never did anything wrong in their whole entire history! Call me a bigot but what people are doing out there is making me want to smack the next visual minority in the head. Not everybody has a black, Hispanic or Asian friend in their call list to hang out for a beer on a Friday night. And I know a person who rather not know any woman on this planet if he had the choice. So why the crap is it on EVERY FREAKING COMMERCIAL THAT LIFE IS LIKE THIS? Whether or not it is a food commercial or a phone commercial, there is the randomly inserted visual minority! Sometimes they sneak it on there with a black woman hiding out in the background or the white woman with the black guy, it is never really equal out there is it? If I was a white male actor for a commercial I have a lower chance of getting the part than someone who was a lot darker of skin, or French. I used to be not like this but as I have grown and watched from the sidelines this has become an issue. Has our own society gone to hell in thinking that we must always be so politically correct that we cannot refuse someone who is actually not qualified for a job, based on the fact that he is a visual minority? What happens if it goes the other way? What if there is a place that is ran by the visual minority and they hired a lone white guy. After a time the lone white guy is cut hours and such because he sticks out of the place like a sore thumb. What is the rules and protection for that guy? I don't think I have ran across that. Most of the laws protect the minority and in the long run it has segmented the country into pockets of people that live with their own kind. The borders have allowed people who cannot function properly in this society (Like a closet is a closet not a bathroom for gosh sakes, and no you can't plant potatoes in your living room floor when you live in an apartment) and kick out the people that could function in this society.
Why am I suddenly speaking out like this? Simple I am frustrated at the third story of white, western Europe people getting kicked out of the country when they have a steady home here, speak one or both our national languages, highly educated, benefits to our society while every SINGLE F-ING time I call a government agency or bank I cannot understand a word that they say. Hello person with an accent from a country that I cannot pronounce, you now live here. I speak English. Some of the other peoples speak French. Last I looked those were the basic requirements to be in this country speak one of two. If you want to have your language at home, fine. Congrats to you. But the next time I begin to speak a different language in front of you, don't criticize me of saying something offensive, when it really wasn't. Now you know how we feel.
Last but not least this was the most hilarious thing I ever heard, and it now makes me wonder about little old ladies with two coloured mitts on. A car went into repair one day and it was found to have red paint on the brake, green on the gas. Post it notes all across the dash, taped to the steering wheel. This isn't notes about to pick up eggs and milk and the doctors appointment at four, this was instructions on how to drive the car. If you need instructions posted all throughout the car to tell one how to drive said car, I think it's time to hand in the license. But here's the scary part; she didn't have one. Never had one. I can't tell how many of these people cruising around in cars that are registered and insured (or not) out there...But here's a point to consider; does the government?

For the government they have their own stack of woes, mainly paperwork. Even though the systems of the inner workings have been transfered to computerization the fact of the matter is that they like asking the same question over and over again like some old man with dementia. As if to snare you into a trap of letting you answer a question wrong once to make it their way at least once, so that they don't have to deal with you. Hello? People don't speak legalese. If we did then there wouldn't be any use for having lawyers anymore. Stupid politicians.

I blame the Library useage increases on my family...

Yay for Alberta! Most libraries have declared that they had double digit increases in usage and items getting taken out. This is reportedly the same across the country and like everything else it is blamed for the economy. Can it be that people don't want to pay for books that lay around in their homes. I can say the same thing. I have more than one bookcase that is stacked full of books that I will never read again (can't say that for my manga). So why not read them once, and let someone else read them? TY Libraries!

Truckers, drug dealers and animal carcases live here! I couldn't believe that the news delivered a news article like that. If it wasn't so gruesome I would've laughed myself silly. Who writes this article like this? What does Drug dealers have to do with Truckers? Unless one of them gets run over with a semi what does it matter in a neighborhood if there is a bunch of truckers living there? However if you put animal carcases in the mix with any of the above it makes one question: Did the animal get hit by a truck or drugged to death. Both still outlandishly to be reported on the evening news. On my way to work I see animal carcases on an almost daily routine. I just try not to hit them myself, and other than the unlucky ground squirrel I've been lucky. Animal die of overdose...I've heard of dogs digging up stashes and getting quite stoned so I can foresee this. I don't know why... Perhaps there is way too many dumbass dogs out there for this not to happen. In the end the truth was far from these two scenarios that I have presented. There was the bodies of two young male bucks were dumped with their bodies dismembered and their horns cut off. The police think that they were killed in the hunting season and then frozen and dumped at that area. -_- People are dumb.

Talking about animals, whenever there is one that wonders into the city that seems to make it newsworthy. You wonder where in the world we all matter to it when a murder story involving a young person takes less time than a young female moose running around the suburbs and needing police to control it. It's as if no one ever saw a moose in their lives before. Darn soft news.

As for stupid dumb people I am hating people around construction zones. Mainly those who speed up to the point and cut me off. I think that people should start being less considerate to those people. Especially those who had sat in traffic patiently and get to be later and later because of some dumb ass person in a hyped up honda civic that decided to speed up to the point that the road becomes squeezed into one lane and hops into the line, making everyone slow up and take more time. I've once been reduced to a 20 km/hr in a 70 zone because of stupid people like that.

Oh well...The last thing of note: I'm even going more blind than I already am. I get to see the specialist again tomorrow and hopefully they get to have more of an opinion than "I don't know why it's doing that." Grrness.

And in other news I have posted Chapter 19 in Twin Earth and the Prelude in Wish Book. Enjoy the extra reads people!

Playing with snow in a thunderstorm...

Yeah that was intense. Building a snowman in a middle of a thunderstorm. Only in Alberta! I wish our sled trail had survived it because I so wanted to say that I waz sledding in the rain, but since we didn't have a good base to it yet we never had a chance. It's amazing how quick of a melt that we are having. In a week we almost had all of our snow melted, and today we face a high of 13*C! Insane! Just to think a month ago we had -30*C weather.

Happy Easter to all! I'm not going to be online so I decided to say it early. I'm usually late for everything.

I've also came to announce the starting of yet another story blog, Wish Book. I have yet to post the first chapter but it will come quickly, I promise. But not this weekend...But before next weekend.

I have also a new job, but I think I will quit before I start. It is selling knives and unfortunatly it is to sell to your friends and family first and to be frank I don't think any of them need high quality knifeware in their lives at the moment. I think it will be a failure before it starts, so why try? *sigh*

I have also been accepted into school! Now I can go out and get further into debt for something that *MIGHT* help me in the future...I'm starting to get tired of these type of ventures. However, it will prove to me once again that I'm not too old to go to school and meet new people.

I like dressing up, yes I do!

I'm giving you the right to not go through the hundred and forty some posts and uploading some pics of me up onto the internet. *Gasp in horror and die* I know, I said that I would never do such a thing but since I stole a pikky from other peoples, I figure that the internet already has my picture on it so what's the harm in putting a few more on it?
Lets see there is Animethon 2005...Guess who I am *hehehe* Gosh I hates that picture...


And then getting ready for Bellerose Anime Festival and being there at the school...

I'm a moogle if no one can figure that out ~Sighs~ The corset was tight and a pain by the time I got home but i would do it again by yar! I have a lot of people who had saved their game. I so want to do that again at a bigger con!

Yes I love being able to cosplay...If I had unlimited fundage and talent I would go around to every con and dress up...And buy more anime and manga than I already have...And more souvenirs than I already have...I should post them too when I finish organizing my stuff. I don't want to be a complete slob in front of the internet peeps do I?

Talking about peeps I love those marshmallow yellow bundles of doom. I eat their heads first...Does anybody else do that? Easter...The last venue to get chocolate before Halloween, which if I don't get out of the house before then I probably be out trick-or-treating again...Amazingly out here no one cares how old you are and dumps enough candy to have a diabetic coma in the car with. Frankly stating me sister and I gots a green garbage bag full each, and we came home early and got out late. Even still, I think my peers don't look too highly for me continuing to do that and I'm setting a bad example. Oh well free candy!

My House Eats Stuff! And Matters of the Heart....

One would think that if there was something missing that one could go back to the one spot that you last had it and it's not there. You go looking around a simular place and it's not there. Look at an unusual spot that one would find it and it's not there. Stuff gets eatten, and it's not only at my place I find but at the most other people's places at well. It's sad how much stuff goes missing within the wilds of other stuff. Oh wait...Hey!!!

It was right here all along...

Anyways I've been devouring books at a great amount, so much that the librarian is afraid to call me anymore since I bring in and check out about 20 books every time and visit her at least once a week. Even though most of the books that I take out has been in the junior or Young adult but I've found that they have more varied amount of topics than the adult books. Even still I've been reading some adult books as well as some non-fiction as well. One of which is Marley and Me, the book that the movie was based on. It made me laugh and cry and remember because one of my own dogs was so much like Marley that I wonder if he could be a brother in mentality because there would be no way for him to be brother in blood.

But of course I haven't been able to choose the greatest of pets in my lifetime. The first pet that I had all on my own was Snowflake Obsidian (Name of a rock)And she lived to her name. She was as dumb as a rock and often (vocally) came to pester the whole household whenever she was outta water, food or needed her washroom cleaned. Even though she wondered when she was going to be attacked by my sister or a dog she raced away only to glance around the corner to see if one was following so that the chase could continue. She often latched herself to the top of our curious dog, Healy, head. I always found it funny to pry off her claws from the head of an animal whose head is larger than the cat herself. She was small and liked hiding in areas away from our grasp so sometimes we find a clump of her fur in the most unlikest of places. I'm waiting until we pull up the floor of the house and find all of her cat toys that she stashed in the vents.
And then there is the two dogs. Buddy (the gray one on the left) and Healy (The black one on the right) Buddy came to us as a stray drop off that had some major issues. When he finally wouldn't leave I gave him a bath and found that someone had shot him with a paintball. Later I found that a lot of people of a certain nationality like shooting dogs with paintballs, pellet guns and even rifles. A lot of them show up in the pounds with need of major surgery and in the end some had to be put down because of this. It was possible that Buddy was one of these dogs, or just wondered into the way of someone playing on one of the acreages here. Either way he was too friendly for his own good and loved his food. He was useless as far as doing dog duties ie. barking when people arrived, playing any sort of game...We also found out that we couldn't keep him pinned in at all. He would climb out of wire cages, find his way out of wooden fences...

And then there was Healy... We had him since he was a pup and he was the most strangest puppy that I've met in a long time. When he was first brought home he didn't chew on shoes, instead he fell asleep on mine, and only mine, and slept with his nose firmly planted in it. His front paws were twice the size of his back paws (Which was the size of them all the way until he died) and a tongue that was far too large for his mouth. He was a good sniffer for sure and we always joked that he should've been trained as a drug dog for the police. He liked playing frisbee and hockey, even getting so much that he would body check someone in order to get to the fabled prize: the puck or ball or anything that he so desired. I guess it would be the part of retriever or Great Dane in him that made him so good at it. Even though getting the puck, or ball back away from him is something that is difficult to do.
Also like Marley in the book he would destroy things when it came to a storm or fireworks. Unthankfully it was Buddy who taught him to be afraid. It was until we got Buddy that we started to run into problems. He destroyed form ply and wire fencing, until his bullheadedness would force himself out. The last winter we had him it was hard on his hips so that it was cruel to tie him up anymore. He still liked to play and track down milkbones and even when his sight and hearing went he still would come to my whistle. When you come to own a dog as long as I did Healy it's hard not to think that a dog ages when they still are doing the things he did as a puppy. I once found my arthritic dog curled up on my shoes, snoring away. It made me smile.

And then there is Snookums. She trained Buddy to lay down whenever she commanded so she could lay on top of him. She's now 12 and lordess of this property. Weither it be wild dogs, other cats or even a passing fox she launches herself into attack mode and chases them off. After losing Healy and Buddy this year we have been lucky to still have her around, still playful (to attacking falling leaves, snow and her own tail) and loving. She was another stray that was left behind when a neighbor took off in the middle of the night. While our other neighbor will feed any wild cat, he assumes that she's ours. It didn't help that she had to wear a tick collar last year because we found her with a couple of the parasites bounding off of her *Uuugh* Now she's clear and even five minutes ago she was happily tracking down the fox to chase it off the property.

The name of my blog is how I feel today...

Confused and Confuddled is all that explains all my actions that I am now placing myself on the path that is laid out before me. Now that I have said that extreme amount of nothingness I shall elaborate on it. *blarg* Okay it goes like this: I have gone to the point that I could be now editing and compressing the story of Sinclair of Twin earth (See Here if this makes no sense to you) So I'm now at the crossroads in the whole episode that I could start production of the manga/graphic novel immediately but I have to state that the world of Twin Earth isn't built yet. This comes to the meaning that over the last few years I have spent time working on the mini-story that is placed in the scenery of another world that I have built in a novel form that I haven't worked on or thought of for years. So my concern is now should I leave everything on hold and work slowly on production of the graphic novel and work on publishing the novels and finishing all the tales that are just now sitting in a two inch binder and wait to publish it at the same time. I fret and worry about these kinds of things all the time, and in the end I always get screwed around by bad publishers or agents.

The desire to be known to the general public is strong but I don't want to be in the spotlight, par se. I have seen many artist desire this as well. I think it comes down to that there is something that drives our creations to be wanting to be in the spotlight but the artist (writer) themselves want to disappear under the shadow of the creation. However, there always come some amount of even the minutest artist that pokes out, even if they hide under another creation, a name that they write/draw under. This is some part of them that they as a person could point over and go "Hey it's not me, it's him/her", but it's still not a real person. I've toyed with writing and drawing under a different name, mainly because I can't come up with a writers signature for my own name. Lame excuse isn't it? In all seriousness I have to admit that my name came from a character in a book, and that in itself has to imply that I am simply a character in my own rights.
Okay I'm going to stop that rant because I will only write myself back in a full circle and that will not come to any conclusion.

I wonder how people would react if I put my hair up with pens and pencils at work...

Does anybody know how those preloaded VISA or MASTERCARDs work? Will they work online for stuff, say on e-bay or elsewhere? I have read that they are accepted anywhere they accept VISA/MASTERCARD but I'm not sure if that includes the internet...I'm really paranoid about using my real card on the online shops so I'm interested if I get a card with a set amount on it and use it if it would work...That way if someone gets my number on the preloaded card, I'm only screwed out of the balance and no more.

And in the end does anybody really, really care?